There is a tequila secret down south in this part of Mexico. This secret is only whispered late at night on a deserted beach.

Let’s listen in now…

“Ohhh, Pedro, I don’t have a bathing suit, and I am afraid of the sharks at night.”

Pedro whispers, “Senorita, that is not a problem. I assure you. It is a secret here that those who swim naked after drinking tequila will not be bitten by the sharks. The sharks hate it. It is true on my mother’s soul, I swear.”

The naïve Senorita asks, “Is that true Pedro?”

“Well, love, I know the tequila part is, but I am not one hundred percent sure about the no-no to bikinis. But the way I think of it, why take a chance, Senorita?”

“Hehehe, okay, Pedro, hand me the tequila and turn your back to me so I can undress.”

Pedro turns his back on the lovely Senorita, and while twisting his thin, black mustache, he replies, Si, Senorita, I will not turn around, I promise.

(An excerpt from my envisioned biography tentatively entitled, “Stuff Men Say To Get Laid.”)